I can't help it...
I'm a product of the '80's/'90's
My distress is most identifiable
in electronica & big hair bands....
I've emptied my soul of fears these last few days
...rivers streaming down my cheeks
blackened streams of mascara wasteland
landing where laugh lines once lay
Yep, I lay it on pretty thick
(mascara & melancholy alike)
I purged it by making this...
I think it's out of my system
I pray it's gone to bed for now
I will fear the fearNO MORE!
Sorry for the dramatics but I've been so down this week I don't which way is up.
I'm hoping it's just all the medicines I'm on & blaming it on the dizziness.
Maybe my soul is just telling me I need to rest, take a breath & show some gratitude??
Or perhaps it's telling me to face my fears & see that I will still be standing regardless of which decision I make or turn I take.
That vintage handkerchief is the first thing I have embroidered since my grandmother (Mama Lou) passed away almost 5yrs ago. She taught me everything I know about sewing & I think I was paralyzed with fear that if I had forgotten how to embroider I would have lost a piece of her.
My hands shook threading the needle.
I prayed each stitch.
I didn't realize I was holding my breath
until I finished the first letter & let it out with a big whoosh.
One Fear Defeated!
I'm ready for the next!!
*Thanks for listening!*
You Birds & your kind words make my heart flutter!
~XoXo's~
Johanna
PS: The movie Everbody's Fine is NOT a comedy !!
(just in case you picked it up & thought you'd watch a funny flick to feel better but then you end up crying even harder than you were before) :)
PPS: I snuck a few more goodies into the shop when you weren't looking :)
Like this....
~~Diva Dream Catcher No3~(available here)
& this....
~Bella No5~(available here)
11 comments:
Awww Sweet Friend!
You're having growing pains my friend...they suck but are necessary for the growth that takes us to the next level!
I love your embroidered handkerchief...and your words touched my heart, Mama Lou is proud!
Love your new shop goodies...take care of yourself and if you need an ear, a friend...I'm here for you!!
Big (((HUGS)))
Karyn
I bet your grandmother is smiling down on you for conquering one of your fears!
I'm sure your Gramma is very very proud of you
Don't fret, little Jo! Things will get better soon! Spring is on the way, the days will be longer and brighter, soon we'll be able to frolic and swim, and swimming means overweight men in speedos! See?!?! All is right with the world.
You know that old saying "It's always darkest before the dawn"? Well, even if it sounds like a cliche, it's still very true....
I love that you took on the embroidery at that weak moment. You chose to create something extra special which says a great deal. And you connected with your beloved grandmother. I understand that completely.
Remember you're loved and you have that beautiful boy. We're all here cheering for you!
xoxo
Me again...just popping in to wish you a lovely, peaceful, calm and fearless weekend!
Big hugs,
Karyn
I love doing things my grandmother taught me. They are special ladies indeed.
i'm totally a kid of the 80s - i was even listening to Tears for Fears today in the car. And a 70s poster of a kitty cat would tell you to "hang in there."
great post xoxoox
I understand how you feel. Sometimes pain is necessary though to make us grow wiser and stronger!
Love the song.
xxx
I love doing things my grandmother taught me. They are special ladies indeed.
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